A good Will-It-Fit from a man who knows a lot about fitting stuff in hard to reach places: my friend Matteo. Here’s what Matteo wanted to know… Could King Kong fit his dick inside Godzilla’s mouth? How far in could he get it? And, alternately, could Godzilla fit his entire fist inside King Kong’s asshole? And what would happen if they teamed up and stuck their respective dick and fist inside New York? And what if New York said “no” even though New York was dressed like a ho-re and clearly wanted it?
Tough question, Matteo. Personally I think King Kong probably has a pretty big dick. If you don’t believe me, then just look at the facts. FACT: Godzilla is Asian, so he’s good at math but bad at having a big dick. FACT: King Kong clearly has an enormous asshole, since he eats mostly vegetables and Godzilla eats sushi so King Kong clearly has larger poos. FACT: The word “kong” rhymes with “dong”. Godzilla rhymes with “I have a small, fish-like penis.” Okay, so in the battle of the dicks, I’m going to go with Kong. However, Godzilla breathes radiation from his mouth, so if King Kong puts his ding-dong in Godzilla’s mouth, it’s either going to fall off or turn into an origami paper crane. (Too soon?) Either way, New York is the one who is left waiting by the phone singing “Will He Still Love Me Tomorrow?” originally written by Carole King. (What will fit in Carole King? A tapestry? Or just years of regret? Tune in next week)
